Sunday, August 31, 2008

Vacation Update

Just in case you were wondering how we are spending our vacation.......

....these are the uber competitive Sopha girls, 
DOMINATING at balloon volleyball. 
At the old folk's home. 

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The thing about this Thursday

The thing about this Thursday is that it's the day before we leave on vacation.
The thing about this Thursday is that I'm too scatterbrained to focus on just one thing.
The thing about this Thursday is that I'm going to revert to my old familiar facebook ways and provide you with a third person update.

Joolee .......
  • is back in teacher mode and multitasking more than ever......helping Josie write a Thank You card while reading math problems to Addie, sweeping honey nut cheerios off the floor and plotting a get rich quick scheme to help pay for the gas to get to Michigan. All while tilting, tucking, and tightening her abdominals and retracing the steps she took upon returning home from her last trip in an attempt to find the nail scissors.
  • is trying to be grateful for all the age appropriate gifts the girls got from Steve's boss at last night's work picnic, but thinking he might as well have given them numchucks and sharp knives the way they've been screaming and fighting over them all morning.
  • is totally convinced that picking up a week's worth of garbage strewn over the entire backyard in the pouring rain is a BOY job! And she is totally gonna kill those coons or that bear dead with her bare hands! Well, maybe just the bear. She might have to hire a professional for those super dooper uber freaky coons. 
  • is hoping to find a CHEAP hotel online somewhere near Escanaba so she's not tempted to stick granola bars in her ears or jump out of a moving vehicle on what would be a 12 hour car ride.
  • is so tired of the whining. So. incredibly. tired.
  • is wondering how many people actually saw her old and crusty bra at last night's work picnic when Gwen attempted to climb up her legs and flip over in an incredible feat of Olympic proportion but ended up getting her foot wrapped in the hem of Julie's shirt, stretching it into a maxi dress with a DEEP plunging neckline.
  • is going to have to cancel the beltless baseboard cleaning party for lack of interest. And paranoid that she may have seriously offended someone with her questionable sense of humor.
  • is thinking she might have a good excuse for making peanut butter and jelly for supper. Really, she would totally have to throw away the leftovers before leaving tomorrow......and there are starving children in Africa. 
  • is freaking out that she beat her mom in like 5 straight games of Pathwords (on facebook). She would also now like you to address her as THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

You're Invited!

*Warning! Follow links at your own risk. Subject matter may be inappropriate for plasma donors, lactating women, Seventh Day Adventists, residents of Sigourney, IA, and consumers of Yo-J. PG-13 material includes (but is not limited to) allusions of hemorrhoids, partial nudity of the upper glutes, "mature" language used in totally appropriate contexts, and at least one incident of unabashed hypocricy. Some visitors may experience sudden uncontrollable urine expulsion and eye twitching. Please, consult your doctor and great aunt Carol before use.

Who: YOU! In those low-rise jeans that scream "Give me some crack spackle!"
What: A Beltless Baseboard Scrubbing Party
Where: My house
When: At the butt crack of dawn.....7 tuesdays from the next full moon. Get it!? Full MOON!!??
Why: Because I can think of nothing more fabulous than having my friends slave over my macaroni and cheese encrusted baseboards while I practice the delivery of my new favorite quote I got from my new favorite best friend in my new favorite post on my new favorite blog ....."Ahem, attention all party goers! You will now see the crack of my ...!"

Please RSVP in the comment section.

Friday, August 22, 2008

The one where Steve does something naughty with the pasta spoon

I thought that might pique your curiosity. C'mon folks. Drag your minds out of the gutters and back onto the tricycle littered sidewalks. I'm talking Disney movies. Beautiful wide eyed, tiny waisted mermaid. And possibly the distant cousin of that feathered menace that pooped on me that one time......grrrrrrrr.......Scuttle the seagull.

So I commented on Steve's especially fabulous hair tonight as he walked thru the door after work, guessing he had just gotten it cut. He proceeded to sheepishly inform me that he had been unable to find the brush this morning, and so......

He. combed. his. hair. with. the. pasta. spoon.!!!!!

Sadly enough, I guess this wasn't the first time. Luckily, for those of you who have visited within the past few months, the weather has been warm. And Steve got a new grill for Father's Day. So there's a 79% chance we haven't fed you spaghetti.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Thing about Hip Hop Abs

The thing about hip hop abs is that they are really sexy.

The thing about hip hop abs is that I really want them.

The thing about hip hop abs is that if you want them badly enough, you may break down and buy something like this from an infomercial.

The thing about Hip Hop Abs (the workout) is that Shaun T's voice can get just a tidge annoying.

The thing about hip hop abs is that you prolly won't get them just by laughing at your 2 year old attempting the club worthy moves while the Pussycat Dolls croon "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

The thing about hip hop abs is that you prolly won't get them if you hide the danish behind the tupperware and consume the entire thing by yourself.

The thing about hip hop abs is that you prolly won't get them if you've survived 4 pregnancies and had your stomach skin stretched like silly putty to accommodate the 11 pound toddler you birthed.

The thing about hip hop abs is that if I had them, I would be seriously tempted to wear crop tops or pull the bottom of my shirt thru the neckhole (oh, 80s fashion!) at the smallest hint of a warm day. I would also most likely go green by rollerblading to the Piggly Wiggly for all my grocery needs. In a bikini.

Now what kind of message would THAT send to my impressionable girlies!?
Aaw! Forget it. Pass me the peanut butter!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The one where Julie hides the danish

Sabrina, do I need to credit you for your super fun way of labeling posts? 

A review of Bath and Body Works new PINK lotion, which I DID buy and rather enjoyed......until Ella shared her 2 cents.

"That is the stinky lotion. It smells like cheese sticks."

In other Ella news, "Mommy has a booty, Addie has a booty, Josie has a booty, Gwen has a booty, I have a booty, and Daddy has a booty......Daddy has a special booty!" Time for another anatomy review?

And dilemma. In moments of weakness, usually after a rough day when I am shopping sans children, I am occasionally guilty of buying a coffee cake/danish.....just a sweet lil something to reward myself for getting out of bed the next day. So the question is I hide the danish and eat the entire thing by myself over the next several days, I leave it on the counter and/or offer some to Steve knowing that he will firmly chastise me for my lack of willpower and then proceed to eat half of it? So I broke down last week and chose to "hide" my treat.....I didn't really hide was more like a failure to announce it. That and I knew he wouldn't look on the shelf with the tupperware;) Anyway, I eventually finished it (at my leisure, because I knew I wasn't competing with anyone for it) and threw the packaging in the recycling bin. Notice, I wasn't being totally secretive or I would've buried it in the garbage can. Anyway, he inevitably found the evidence and freaked out that I had kept the yumminess a secret. I attempted to defend myself by pointing out that he would have been mad at me for buying it in the first place and that would have negated any pleasure the danish had to offer me in the first place.

So......without advising me to refrain from purchasing an occasional danish, what should I have done? What would you do? Am I the only one who hides food? And is this kind of "closet eating" a sign of some serious psychological issue?

Monday, August 18, 2008

An Interview: Unedited and Uncut

So I stole these questions from Heather of the EO's blog who took them from someone else's blog who prolly borrowed them from someone else's. You know how it goes. And for the record, I asked each of the girls (except Gwen, of course) separately so as to get their most honest responses.

1. What is something your mom always says to you?
E- Close your eyes and go to sleep.
J- I love you.
A- Clean up your room.

2. What makes mom happy?
E- When we color a picture for you.
J- When I be good.
A- When I'm taking care of Gwen.

3. What makes mom sad?
E- When we don't color a picture for you.
J- When I'm being mean.
A- When everybody is fighting.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
E- When she sings silly songs.
J- Be silly.
A- When you do that accent song (Fried Ham....which I just did for the first time this morning)

5. What was your mom like as a child?
E- Like this (points to self).
J- Little.
A- Little.

6. How old is your mom?
E- I dunno.
J- 23
A- 32
correct answer: 31

7. How tall is your mom?
E- That tall (points to me).
J- Really tall.
A- 8 of my clear kid rulers tall (after measuring with her hands).

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
E- Make cookies.
J- Go on dates with me.
A- Have Nadia over. (FYI...Nadia is a really sweet girl who slept over this weekend. The girls NEVER fight when she is here:)

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
E- I dunno.
J- I dunno.
A- This is a really hard movies when I'm in bed? (I am never not around them.)

10. What is your mom really good at? 
E- Making cookies.
J- Drawing pictures.
A- Singing

11. What is your mom not very good at?
E- Coloring pictures.
J- Grilling and making fires (boy jobs:)
A- Acting like a kid and fighting and crying. (phew!)

12. What does your mom do for her job?
E- Dishes.
J- Cleaning the house.
A- You don't have a job!

13. What is mom's favorite food?
E- Peanut Butter and Jelly (she got the PB right anyway)
J- Pizza
A- Roast and steak. (not so much)

14. What makes you proud of your mom?
E- When you make pictures for me.
J- When she cleans the house.
A- When you warn daddy that he's gonna run into something....cuz I don't wanna crash. (tee hee)

15. What do you and your mom do together?
E- Play outside and stuff and make cookies together.
J-  Go on dates.
A- Dates.

16. How are you and your mom the same?
E- I dunno.
J- Are you tan? Cuz I'm tan too!
A- We both like shabby chic stuff and pretty old stuff (this from the girl who could pick out "shabby chic" in a store at the age of 2!)

17. How are you and your mom different?
E- Not the same hair.
J- Our hair.
A- You have red hair. I don't.

18. How do you know your mom loves you?
E- Cuz you say! (with actions)
J- Because you love me! (giggle)
A- Cuz you always say you do.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sport Coats and Softball

So.....equestrian? An Olympic sport? Really? I didn't watch long enough to see the medal ceremony, but do they make the ribbon long enough to fit around the horse's neck? And I know it's called a sport coat, but does wearing a sport coat really make you an athlete? I have nothing against horses. Or people who ride horses. I used to work on a dude ranch, for Pete's sake. Yes, I said dude ranch. I just think it might be a bit of a stretch. Next thing you know, we'll turn on the Olympics to find the world's best hoop jumping poodle. I may be out of line here. And I don't object to rebuttals.

In other true sports related news, our softball team finished 3rd place in our tournament yesterday. We played 4 games, the first three back to back in the blazing hot sun. Then we finally had a short break to go to the bathroom and get something to eat before our final game. I must say, we weren't too disappointed with 3rd. We were so hot and exhausted we couldn't possibly have played another game. All said, we played from 9 to 4:30 with zero very little shade, 14 kids, no naps, and one bottle of sunscreen. It was a fun year!

Steve at pitcher

Trying to stay cool

The couple that bleeds together, stays together.
(My leg is the bigger one, not the hairier one)

OK, so a few clouds did roll through during our short break.

Icees make us forget how hot and tired we are!

The team. 
Notice Steve's boyish grin as he thought it would be funny to pour water down my back.

Oh, and one more thing about knee highs......they may seem like a good idea come tournament time, but long socks worn for a full cloudless day make for clownish tan lines:(

Friday, August 15, 2008

Kids? What kids?

Just to be clear, I DO realize my latest ramblings have been rather......umm, self indulgent. Don't say I didn't warn you [see blog subtitle]. So I showed off my Walgreen's deals and took a few pictures of the cutest areas of my home that (thanks to the laws of gravity) weren't covered in wet towels, dried up play dough or definitive evidence of scissor "practice". I've been so busy presenting myself as bargain hunter, interior decorator, and MVP of the softball team that I have failed to mention my ever fighting whining present girlies. So to sassify you lurking loving grandparents....a few tidbits of the grandgirlies.

Tonight as we were just about through devouring our taco dinner, Gwen came down from the bathroom (where she had followed Ella who had excused herself moments before) to inform us that "Ella needs a p------y seeee!" Gwen is quite eloquent for a 2 year old, and it sounded to us like Ella needed a potty seat. But she tenaciously kept shaking her head and repeating "Ella needs a p----y seeee!" After about 5 or 6 repeats, Addie was the one to finally decipher her baby talk.... "Ella needs a PRIVACY!" Aaaaah!

"Can you get it, Daddy?" :)

And now a lil su'm su'm from the 3 year old world of Ella. She has recently become amazed at her own intellect. I've been hearing multiple times a day, "I know why_______ is called a _________! Because it is ________!" I suppose you might need examples.
"Mommy, I know why sour cream is called sour cream! Because it's sour!"
"Mommy, I know why toilet paper is called toilet paper! Because it goes in the toilet!"
"Mommy, I know why a pillow case is called a pillow case! Because it goes on a pillow!"
"Mommy, I know why a washcloth is called a washcloth! Because you use it to wash!"

I'm sure you get the picture. The funny part is her excitement over her discoveries. (Those exclamation points are true exclamation points.) I'm telling you, that girl will get a full ride to the college of her choice someday. Pure genius!;)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The thing about Thursdays/Knee Highs

The thing about Thursdays is that I'm going to attempt to post my random thoughts about fill in the blank every week. On Thursday. Hence the title. The thing about Thursdays.

But this Thursday, the thing isn't really about Thursdays. That was more of an explanation, or preface, if you will. This Thursday's thing is about knee highs.

The thing about knee highs is that wearing them during competitive events can be quite intimidating for your opponents. I have found that people subconsciously associate long socks with superior batting/throwing/kicking/grammar/sliding/running/hitting/math skills.

The thing about knee highs is that if you're pressed for time, you can skip shaving your entire leg and just do the knee part.

The thing about knee highs is that if you're having a really rough game, they are still there, giving your calves a lil hug and telling you everything will be OK.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Shiny Happy People Holding Hands

This makes my eyes disappear behind my cheeks every time:) But we now return to our regularly scheduled post....

Yippee! I finally learned how to free up counter space by killing our Beta cross out words in a post, which I'm convinced will win me a Pulitzer make blogging even more time-consuming fun than it already is!

I think it's amusing the way some people we make such an effort to put our best faces forward. The smiley happy faces that give people the impression that we have it all together. You know....don't we all try to convince people that we have naturally long dark lashes are endlessly patient mothers, ever supportive wives, immaculate housekeepers, gourmet chefs, and creative teachers? Believe me, I'm as guilty as the next for whipping out my "press on smile".... especially on Sunday mornings when Steve has remained cozy in bed despite numerous "warnings" while I frantically get 4 girls fed and bathed and dressed we oversleep and the kids' hair isn't combed or their teeth brushed and I'm throwing something together for teaching Sunday School and Steve is greeting and no one has shown up to watch our bully darling in nursery.

I must say that I have found the environment in Bloggyland to be quite warm and pleasant, allowing the courageous to strip off their shiny happy neatly ironed and color coordinated Banana Republic outfits....revealing their stained garage sale skivvies without a judgmental comment second glance from the tourists. I'm glad for that, cuz I've become quite comfortable in my perfectly fitting yet stained pair of virtual panties (I totally HATE the word panties), but anyway..... I may have lost some of you there. My point is, I love how easy it is in Bloggyland to strip away the shiny happy facades and be honest with one another. Whether it's about your struggle to have a good laugh without peeing a little, the washcloth that is always rotting in the bottom of the kitchen sink, your inability to make it thru a day without yelling at your kids, or the fact that yes, you DO wear a girdle shapewear when playing softball, I love that Bloggans are slow to judge and quick to support each other, holding each others hands thru the rough spots by sharing similar struggles or leaving comments of encouragement.

Bloggyland's latest forecast: Partly to mostly real with a 50% chance of shocking confessions. Becoming increasingly transparent after midnight. Thursday expect total honesty. Honesty may turn brutal by midday, in which case, seek shelter in your basement away from windows and that bag of glass baby food jars you've been saving for something special.

You might recall that Steve strongly disapproved of my Get Real post where I tell things like they really are, and the self conscious woman submissive helpmeet that I am, I refrained from posting it. But now, with this fabulous option of crossing out my unpublishable initial thoughts, I will be able to get real with each and every post without becoming an embarrassment to my wonderful lover concerned husband.

So? Will you still hold my hand if I'm wearing my stained garage sale undies?

Home Sweet Home

Just thought it might be fun to post a few pics of home. I personally LOVE to see the insides of other people's homes....and it so much fun to see a friend's home only to realize you have the same decorating style:) I'm not sure it looks like "cottage chic puked all over everything," but I definitely love my cabbage roses. 

I love letters. Old scrabble letters. Vintage word game letters. Vintage alphabet stamps. In vintage blue mason jars. Oh, and I love the word vintage:)
I love magazines. And vintage floral tablecloths. And $5 garage sale dressers. And real glass knobs from other garage sale dressers.
I love my Swell hanky duvet cover with an "S" on one hanky. S for swell. S for Sopha.
I love vintage suitcases for storing toys. And I love 50 cent garage sale trays painted with cabbage roses:)
My recipe center. This is where I hang recipes I want to try. And, yes, the occasional coupon for pizza takeout.

A friend got me this fabulous sign for my birthday. Could it be any more perfect with my kitchen wallpaper!?
What you will most likely find at the back door if you stop by unexpectedly.

Gotta love Martha Stewart tea-towels as cafe curtains.

And hat boxes in pastel florals!? I love my TJ Maxx!

A view from Addie's bed. My favorite place to relax while watching the girls play in the yard. Notice the tadpole habitat in blue. Hours of entertainment!

The powder room.

Framed vintage reproduction soap labels.

The other girls room.

Notice the permanent marker "artwork" on the left courtesy of Josie. 3 years ago! I still haven't gotten around to repainting:(

Love these brackets. Too bad they have become a catch-all for hats and our serious addiction.

My "new" dresser. At home in our totally trashed sun room.

Monday, August 11, 2008

A boring update

What a busy week!
Monday.....Dinner with friends. At their house! Awkwardly wonderful to have others wait on us for a change. Begin "training" for inline marathon. "Training" used very loosely. Basically tried not to break my neck. Managed to stay on my feet until the very last intersection where a random passerby gave my fall a "7."

Tuesday.....Girls have friend over from sleep-over Monday night. PM softball game. Get some exciting action at home. PLATE! (no innuendo here;) Never mind that hubby keeps "accidentally" calling the second basewoman "honey."

Wednesday.....Nesting! Lots of housework while anxiously waiting for a phone call from a friend being induced who asked me to take pictures of the birth! Never seen a real birth where I didn't do the birthing. Much excitement all around. More waiting. Waiting. Just a little more. Friend sent home for lack of progression:( So You Think You Can Dance Finale. Vote for the first time ever. For Joshua:)

Thursday.....LOTS of garage sale prep. Make fabulous signs. Let the girls run rampant while I frantically unpack and organize bags and bags of clothes and other misc. junk. So You Think You Can Dance Results. Yay Joshua! Shed a few tears.

Friday.....Garage Sale! So exciting to see stuff go and rejoice with those who think my junk is their treasure. Friend and her 4 kids here to help and sell some stuff too. Both our hubbies home to grill and watch kids while we run to Sam's Club. Absolutely exhausted and a bit sunburned, but THRILLED to have made LOTS of $ today:) Pregnant friend ended up having C-section, so no photography or birth to witness:(

Saturday.....Drag self out of bed for another day of garage sale money making. Money didn't get the memo. Not worth the time and effort to drag everything out again. Grand total made......$420 and change. Not counting girls very successful lemonade/pop-tart/Nutri-grain bar sale. Not bad for a couple days in the sun chatting with fellow garage sale junkies. Clean up. Make constipation cure cookies for new mom. Forget key ingredient in cookies as yet another sleep-over child is picked up in the midst of the mixing. Make my first real meal in the past several days.....Fettuccine Rose. Steve is happy. Lay on couch watching Olympics and try to recover from busy week.

Sunday.....Church. Ella pukes on way home. Take older 2 girls to a birthday party while Steve stays home with the sick and napping. Enjoy several hours chatting with other moms at party and making plans for some sort of home school group. Love the fabulous food prepared by chef......grilled veggies and polenta, southern briscuit (?) sandwiches with homemade BBQ sauce. YUM! Home to find that Ella has been puking all day. Try to clean up from busy week while caring for poor puking Ella. Worry that something is SERIOUSLY wrong with her. Watch more Olympics.

Today.....More clean up:( Ella seems to be doing better. Ate a lil breakfast. Now Josie is laying on couch and complaining of tummy ache. Wonder if my tummy troubles are imagined or real and thinking I better get some more laundry and dishes done just in case I'm laid up for a day or two. Blogging instead of being truly productive.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

What $6.00 can buy

So I don't usually buy Pop-tarts and Nutri-grain bars, but I couldn't pass up this deal at Walgreens.

Buy 4 cereals for $10, get a $5 coupon good off next Walgreen's purchase. Plus $1 off coupon in Sunday paper.

Buy 4 Nutri-grains for $10 get $5 coupon good off next purchase. Plus $1 off coupon in Sunday paper.

Buy 5 Pop-tarts, Cheez-its or Rice Krispies Treats for $10 get $5 back. Plus 2 $1 coupons in Sunday paper.

In the ad it looks like you can use both combinations of 4 Nutri-grains or 5 Pop-tarts to get 2 coupons for $5 each back, though only one spit out for me. The cashier gave me a mail-in form to get the other $5.00 so I'm not sure if it will work.

Also in the paper next to the coupons is a $10 mail-in rebate form if you buy 10 of these Kellogg's products. Keep in mind you also need to send in UPCs. I realize much of this discount is in the form of in-store credit, but they also have great deals on school supplies and 75% off summer stuff (goggles, diving rings, lawn chairs), so I will have no trouble buying things I would be shopping for anyway.

So best case scenario if I also get the Walgreen's mail-in rebate, I got all this "junk" for one dollar!!!

Oh, and I also made $2 by picking up their Pert shampoo free after rebate AND using a $2 coupon from the Sunday paper.

As if these deals aren't fabulous enough to make you pee in your pants a little, Walgreen's now does rebates online. No stamp necessary!!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Confessions of a Supposed Former Incontinent Goofball

OK. I'll just come out and say it.

I used to pee my pants. Regularly. In high school. And college.

Unfortunately, there was no medical diagnosis for my condition. If there was it would have been something like Involuntary Urine Expulsion secondary to Uncontrollable Laughter and Body Convulsions.

It's not like I grew up peeing my pants, though there was that one time in first grade when I transferred to a new school and had some strange phobia of the unfamiliar bathrooms. No, it started in high school. When responsibilities were few and immaturity was at an all time high. Life was just so darn funny that I couldn't control my bladder.

It happened the time my best friend and I were making prank calls to that boy we met at the roller rink on Christian music night.

It happened that time I fell down a hill into a river and had to borrow my friend's dad's underwear from his golf bag in the trunk.

It happened that time I played Chinese fire drill next to that car of totally hot guys and I laughed so hard I had to sit down in the middle of the road rocking back and forth in an attempt to prevent the inevitable.

It happened that one night we went jogging through the park scantily clad and I ripped my shorts climbing that fence.

It happened that one time at my parent's dining room table when my bladder was like....REALLY full.

It happened multiple times in that racquetball court with my friend Pudgy Piggy. For some reason she always got nervous when things started getting really fun.

So the interesting thing is, I grew out of my embarrassing pee problem just after my first year away at college. I guess the added responsibility of a rigorous occupational therapy program, a serious boyfriend, supporting myself in another state.......and then eventually marriage and kids......these things remedied my inclination to laugh so wholeheartily or wholebodily that I lost all control.

I love my life and believe I experience my fair share of hilarity. But now in response to that hilarity, I just smile. Really big. Until my cheeks hurt. And my eyes disappear behind my cheeks.

Oh, uncontrollable laughter, where have you gone?

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the friends that stuck by the girl with he embarrassing pee problem. Thanks for the laughs:)

TMI, TMI, I totally get that. I just really liked the title of my post.