Saturday, August 2, 2008

Confessions of a Supposed Former Incontinent Goofball

OK. I'll just come out and say it.

I used to pee my pants. Regularly. In high school. And college.

Unfortunately, there was no medical diagnosis for my condition. If there was it would have been something like Involuntary Urine Expulsion secondary to Uncontrollable Laughter and Body Convulsions.

It's not like I grew up peeing my pants, though there was that one time in first grade when I transferred to a new school and had some strange phobia of the unfamiliar bathrooms. No, it started in high school. When responsibilities were few and immaturity was at an all time high. Life was just so darn funny that I couldn't control my bladder.

It happened the time my best friend and I were making prank calls to that boy we met at the roller rink on Christian music night.

It happened that time I fell down a hill into a river and had to borrow my friend's dad's underwear from his golf bag in the trunk.

It happened that time I played Chinese fire drill next to that car of totally hot guys and I laughed so hard I had to sit down in the middle of the road rocking back and forth in an attempt to prevent the inevitable.

It happened that one night we went jogging through the park scantily clad and I ripped my shorts climbing that fence.

It happened that one time at my parent's dining room table when my bladder was like....REALLY full.

It happened multiple times in that racquetball court with my friend Pudgy Piggy. For some reason she always got nervous when things started getting really fun.

So the interesting thing is, I grew out of my embarrassing pee problem just after my first year away at college. I guess the added responsibility of a rigorous occupational therapy program, a serious boyfriend, supporting myself in another state.......and then eventually marriage and kids......these things remedied my inclination to laugh so wholeheartily or wholebodily that I lost all control.

I love my life and believe I experience my fair share of hilarity. But now in response to that hilarity, I just smile. Really big. Until my cheeks hurt. And my eyes disappear behind my cheeks.

Oh, uncontrollable laughter, where have you gone?

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the friends that stuck by the girl with he embarrassing pee problem. Thanks for the laughs:)

TMI, TMI, I totally get that. I just really liked the title of my post.

9 comments:

heather of the EO said...

ME TOO!!!! And I've had the same thought, "why don't I pee anymore? Oh, I guess I don't laugh like that." And I thought that was sad, but had the same realization that maybe I've just grown up some.
Luckily my best friend had the same trouble in high school. So if we experienced something funny together, we just walked around with matching wet bums. So cool....
One time, she peed in my car and took her pants off and hung them out the window to dry as we sped along, laughing even more...
ah, the good ol' days...

Anonymous said...

Ah, good times! What about the midnight walk through Long Lake Park when you climbed the fence and then got your boxer shorts stuck at the top and they ripped and you lost it. I remember you trying to convince Billi and I to trade undies with you! I feel honored to have shared all those memories with you, despite the messiness! LOL, Rachel

The Three 22nds said...

Too funny. Especially since I remember hearing inklings of these kind of stories about you as a Jr. higher...I am what, 3 or 4 years back and I STILL heard about them? Noah and I tried on our wet suits the other night and let me tell you...I have not laughed that hard in a long time! It felt good. And I didn't pee. Then again I live in a chronic state of dehydration so those things tend not to happen to me.

Sabrina said...

Um, thank you for being brave enough to post this! NOw i can let me incontinent freak flag fly proudly!!! YOu Rock!

Kim said...

Um, I've had two kids. Sometimes I pee when I laugh. Or when I sneeze, or cough, or hiccup.

They were totally worth the wet pants though.

The Three 22nds said...

Since we are reviewing things that happened in HS, I have to ask, have you accomplished your life goal yet?

This one as I recall involved your husband, not a lot of clothes, and at least one parachute...

-N

joolee said...

This sounds vaguely familiar. Was this really MY goal and was I really so inappropriate as to share it with the whole youth group? Or was this just another urban Julie legend passed on thru the years? Wow! I must say that my life goals no longer involve clothes or lack there of.

It is slightly disturbing that most people remember more about my history than I do. I hate to think of what other "Julie gems" might be floating around that I have totally suppressed.

The Three 22nds said...

No urban legend here, I was there. We had to fill out these question cards, and then Brent would read them and everyone had to guess who wrote it.

Brent saw yours and he was like, "Can I even read this outloud?" But then he did. :)

Karla said...

So this is sad...but as I read your blog (which I found through the three 22nds, of course)I too remembered hearing rumors about this...I don't know from whom...probably either Rachel or Julie...