my new little pills

I just discovered I have a hypothyroid. I will spare you the details, but the past couple of months I've had some pretty bizarre and unexplainable symptoms leading me to believe I had a blood clot in my leg, a brain tumor and/or I was about to have a stroke. This past week was the scariest, leading me to the ER where I was sure I was about to die and yet was unwilling to be admitted due to a high insurance deductible. I think that qualifies me as a "die hard penny pincher." Give me the choice of a gamble with extinction or $1500 out of pocket, I choose the crapshoot of death. Afraid and wanting to be in capable hands in the event that I did stroke out, I stayed in the ER waiting room with my poor scared girlies who had just been quizzed on emergency cell phone usage until Steve was able to pick me up and take me to an open Dr. appointment down the road.

Welp, after some testing that involved laying flat on my back with my naked "I nursed four babies" boobies hanging next to me (humiliation), peeing in a cup, and some blood work, the results were in. Phew! I am so relieved! At one point in the waiting room, one of the girls came over to hug me (I was in tears) and then another and then another and then another. It felt like a scene out of a tragic movie, and I was sure this was the last memory the girls would ever have of me. I'm getting emotional just thinking about it. Then again, emotional instability can be a symptom of hypothyroidism.

There are many symptoms of a hypothyroid, making me confident that this little pill I now have to take every morning an hour before eating will change my life for the better. I thought I would share just a few of my expected results.

• I will effortlessly drop 30 pounds.
• I will remember to mail every bill and birthday/thank you card on time.
• I will stay awake for romantic comedies and Steve's late night ramblings about Bin Laden's death conspiracies.
• I will have a full head of thick shiny hair and will no longer need mousse or Drain-o.
• I will have the focus and energy to design and implement a weekly menu plan.
• I will have healthy regular bowel movements.
• I will have the mental clarity and discipline to become a fabulous guitarist.
• I will be a Fun Mommy.
• I will have the energy to coach Addie's softball team and dig up all the grass clumps still in our garden plot.
• I will catch up on laundry.
• I will post weekly blog entries that fall under the "witty" and "charming" categories.
• I will have the focus necessary to read and understand my camera manual.
• I will become a skilled hip-hop dancer.

So, that's it. I have an answer. And a little pill that is about to rock my world:)