Friday, October 24, 2008

A general feeling of anxiety

I woke up this morning with this anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know, the kind you get on the first day of a new class, or the day your long distance boyfriend is driving 13 hours across the country to see you for the first time in months, or the morning you teach the preschoolers' Sunday school and 3 parents are staying in class to help their kids 'transition.' I'm trying to pinpoint the source of my anxiety and here is a non-inclusive list of the possible culprits.
  • The kids just woke up before the sun. After telling them to get back in bed, Steve informed me that it was already 7:30. Addie's bus stop pick-up time used to be 7:26 and I was reminded of all the cold early mornings spent rushing around scolding "Hurry up or you'll miss the bus!"
  • Steve and I were invited to a costume party tomorrow night and we still have no idea what we're going to be. Let's just say that Steve and I are on the same page about a lot of things, but costumes definitely do NOT fall under this category.
  • In Rachel's post yesterday she wrote about feeling like she gets kicked in the gut every time she remembers that Felicity is gone. I may be feeling anxious knowing that my good friend is being frequently kicked in the gut. I want to defend her from her heartless attacker, but I can't. I've been known to overpower grown men and occasionally sit with my knees in someone's armpits, but Rachel's attacker has no armpits and seems to be much bigger than a grown man. I'm still feeling helpless. And sad.
  • I'm feeling pressure to get back on the Bloggy Bandwagon before you all forget me. My absence of posts isn't entirely due to lack of inspiration, but more of a lack of discipline to edit my ideas down to readable material. Thanks to my cousin Kim for providing me with the random topic of "egg beaters" to help get my semi-stagnant juices flowing. My egg beater post is still under production.              
  • I am awaiting the arrival of the bill for my root canal and wondering how much a dentist charges for his use of a Bunsen burner during the procedure. Seriously people, this is the 21st century! Must we really light up a Bunsen burner by the patient's head before sticking numerous long sharp objects in her mouth!?
  • I didn't call a friend back yesterday. She called twice and I feel really bad about it.
  • Last weekend when my parents were up raking, hauling firewood into our garage and babysitting visiting, some vandals/thieves/bad guys broke a window in Steve's truck, stole our iPod and slashed the roof of my parent's convertible. I'm having a hard time reconciling the city I love with the city that would commit such random acts of meanness. 
  • I have 3 laundry baskets full of miscellaneous paperwork stuffed into my mud room. And I can't seem to find the time or the space to store it away properly. 
  • I seem to be getting wobblier and wrinklier by the day.
  • There are 11 days until the election.
  • I'm down to only 9 jars of back-up peanut butter.
  • It is supposed to snow on Sunday and I still haven't gotten around to planting those new hollyhocks. Oops.


Kristi said...

Anxiety. I understand, Julie. I keep waking up with it--just about every day. I hate it. It's so awful when a bunch of bad things happen at once, which describes our summer this year. And people are so mean. Someone broke Kevin's junky car window in our driveway one night and there was nothing in it to steal. Then a few months later someone stole his cell phone (which they couldn't use because we immediately canceled the service) and the front of his stereo so that he could no longer use it! They didn't take the whole thing--just the front plate! You could get back into bloggyland by doing the boring thing I'm doing--just post pictures!

Kim said...

Sorry for the pressure, we'll all love reading about egg beaters when you feel like posting it, not when we feel you should. That is the trap of blogging and knowing people are out there reading. Some days I love my stat counter, and more often I hate it.

You know what would make you feel better? Make Reese's peanut butter bars out of some of your back up PB. That is what my dear sister and I are doing tonight. (Here's to hoping we open a bottle of wine too!)

As for Halloween, I have no idea. I don't really get into that Holiday. Facebook my sister. She and Matt always have great costumes. Just don't ask about this years, as they are pretty darn irreverent. But clever. Last year they were Howie and a Model. Matt even shaved his head. That is committment to a costume right there.

Sabrina said...

UGH! I know that feeling... I have had no inspiration to write anything lately. And I just got my bill from the dentist and it's more money i dont have.
Well girl... hope things get better... Hang in there!

The Three 22nds said...

I hear you. Some weeks I feel like I have that anxious feeling everyday. It seems like it has been a hard fall so far.

Sickness, death, decisions, jobs, finances, politics seem to be striking from all sides. It seems like for us it has been one blow after another. And I get the sense from talking to other people that it is the same everywhere.

Politics is really increasing my anxiety big time. I am really worried about it and it doesn't help when my husband says, "Julie, America has abandoned all morals. It is probably time for her to be judged." Helpful. Thanks, honey.

And the media! And parenting magazine! It is, quite frankly enough to get this conservative girl in a downright frenzy of anxiety over having no rights and America turning into a 3rd world country overnight, much like in Dark Angel. Or a Socialist country. That doesn't work very well either.

So what am I doing? I am praying. I am going to spend extra time today praying for believers all over the USA...that they will stand firm and put their hope in God and in the world to come, not this one.

Heather of the EO said...

Anxiety is my middle name. I'm sorry you're feeling it, but you sure have good reason. There is a whole lot on your plate. Besides peanut butter.

I hope that tomorrow morning you wake with the grace of some random peace that makes no sense at all.


Nikki said...

I didn't feel anxious about anything until I read this! Now you've got me all worried..I only have 4 back up peanut butters.