Thursday, May 29, 2008

Butt Wipe Origami Makes Cents

Last night as I was lying or laying (still not sure which) in bed unable to sleep because of the caffeine high I was experiencing from a couple of Exedrin Tension Headache pills I popped, it occurred to me that it might be wise to post something ASAP so that my gigundous prego picture wouldn't assault anyone who might happen across my blog.

I've been tempted to cut and paste a few of my more creative musings from my facebook page, but have refrained for fear of plagiarizing myself. Is that possible? I haven't announced my page to the general public via facebook yet, as most seem to do.....I guess I fear what might happen if my blog falls into the wrong hands......I can't be paranoid that a pastor friend might read about something totally unspiritual and ban me from Sunday School responsibilities, or that some teenage boy might get too big a kick out of some post containing.... #gasp#.....marital innuendo! So for now, I'd like to assume that my small readership consists entirely of women..... 

Women like me....who can look at a picture of an insanely huge pregnant woman and remember how awkward a love life can get.....who stockpile feminine supplies because the thought of an economic collapse makes them want to undergo an elective hysterectomy.....who have had their small children mush around in what is left of their abdominal muscles and think it a decent substitute for playdoh..... I digress....

So I am going to admit that I can't come up with any "new" material for this post and I'm going to "plagiarize" myself..... This is from a facebook group I created.....Butt Wipe Origami Makes Cents.

This site's mission is to provide educational and emotional support to those who actively and openly participate in butt wipe origami as a means of saving 3 to 15 cents per dirty diaper change. Members can share folding techniques and creations as well as personal anecdotes about how butt wipe origami has transformed dirty diaper time from "stinky" to "stupendous," "foul fecal matter" to "fluffy tailed fox," "poo" to "poodle," "diarrhea" to "dinosaur."

Here is an excerpt from the message that started it all....
Butt wipe origami actually found ME! I have a tendency to be obsessive when it comes to saving a penny.....did you know that every decent butt wipe costs about 3 cents!? With the number of dirty butts we've had in our home over the years I have literally saved hundreds of dollars by strategically folding the poo into the wipe....emphasis on STRATEGICALLY FOLDING! You must be careful not to attempt this if you lack spatial relations or problem solving skills.  Anyway, you can imagine my delight the first time I wiped a butt perfectly clean only to discover that the wipe looked exactly like a little brown weiner dog.....complete with ears! Maybe I should start a facebook group for this hobby....

And here are a few of my posts.....
Just some more money saving advice for those of you who are still clinging to the diving board above the fun-filled pool of crimped creatures and extra cash.....Christmas is right around the corner and if you're looking for ways to cut costs, butt wipe origami can save you money AND provide delightful and heartfelt gifts for your friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a butt wipe origami reindeer that you and your babe created together.

Just thought I'd share a fun song I used to sing when Ella was still in diapers.....sung to the tune of A Bear Went Over the Mountain.......The name "Ella" can be substituted with any rhyming name.....

Oh, don't you cry little Ella,
Your booty will no longer smell-a,
Some day you'll meet a fine fella,
LOOK! I just made a gorr-ella!

I eventually learned to adjust the tempo of the song to the severity of the mess in the diaper so I could display my butt wipe origami creation at just the right time....great positive reinforcement to tame a twitching tot.

4 comments:

Heather said...

I can't stand it. That's one of the funniest things I've seen (or thought about) in a long time. I giggled and giggled all by myself at the comptuer, because I try hard to use only one wipe each poo too. But(t) I've never noticed the "art" in any of my poo covered wipes. So gross and so funny.

The Three 22nds said...

Hilarious.

Personally, I'll spend a few extra cents to contain the poop quickly. If you don't do it quickly, the poop gets up and walks off with the baby.

I don't know about yours, but my boys poop lots and nasty. We rate their poops in numbers of wipes.

"Wow that was nasty. It was a five wiper!"

-N

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