much sadness

I got absolutely heartbreaking news from my BFF tonight, my BFF who drove hundreds of miles to stand up for me when I eloped, my BFF who just recently started blogging....Rachel, of Home on the Range.

She had her third baby this morning....a girl. Felicity Faith. Rachel was really hoping for a girl. Of course, she was just hoping for a healthy baby, cuz that's what we know we're all supposed to say, but I knew she really wanted a girl. Devastatingly, she didn't get her healthy baby. Somehow, the umbilical cord was tied in a tight knot leaving her unable to breath. I don't know all the traumatic details, but I DO know that this little girl was loved and wanted more than anything. 

I can't even begin to fathom the deep sadness and maybe even anger that Rachel and her husband are feeling right now. I spent the night driving around in silence, crying and praying for my dear friend. What can you say to a friend who has just lost the baby she carried for 41 weeks? Yesterday she was blogging about the new baby sling she was anxious to use and tomorrow she will be planning a memorial service. Why do these things happen!!??

So I finally managed to drag myself into a store to look for a sympathy card. I HATE sympathy cards! They all say something totally dumb..... some poetic nonsense meant to comfort the grieving, but really they just sound cliche and shallow. I bought one anyway. Something about there not being words. And as I stood there at Shopko, bawling between the Thanksgiving cards and the humorous cards (the kind that Rachel and I save for each other), I wished there was something.....anything I could do to help her. What good will a card do? Sure, I'll be praying for her like mad, but I feel so helpless. Helpless and so incredibly sad. 

Pray for my dear sweet friend.